Mc Lendon advises that any woman below a five in hotness be automatically relegated to the “No Go Zone” because “life is better this way.” “As a rule,” he says, “we do not date or marry women who are not at least, in our mind, a five.” The No Go Zone abuts the “Fun Zone,” which is reserved for women who fall below the crazy line and between five and eight on the hot scale.
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Mc Lendon’s matrix begins with his “hot” and “crazy” axes, with hot measured on the usual scale of one to 10 and crazy starting at four, “because of course there’s no such thing as a woman who is not at least a four crazy.” The “hot-crazy line” is drawn diagonally, dividing the grid into various quadrants of desirability, which he unpacks for viewers with the cold, hard logic of a pragmatist.
I would tongue her asshole so deep she'd think I was taking her temperature.