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Might be a bit of a stretch, but are you a sea captain?

If so, you can go to, where you can 'find your first mate' (quite a good line, that), or check out a site dedicated to Star Trek fans and meet the one and live long and prosper...

There is absolutely no registration or sign up required and you do not need to have a webcam or audio speakers to participate.

If you are on a personal connection, like at home, you can run an anti-virus scan on your device to make sure it is not infected with malware.

And, if you've got a beard, then pop over to Bristlr (sea captains can probably jump on here, too) where you can find someone who'll lovingly stroke your beard, and maybe more, for years to come.